Climb

It's interesting how much you can think you understand about life. If I've learned anything, it's that most things that happen are out of your control. During grade school you start climbing the ladder. Learning step after step and getting higher and higher. You figure out how your school works, friends work, and the ins and outs of your town. You realize you're pretty high and you've got a nice view of what is below. You own this ladder.

Then you graduate high school and realize your ladder has only taken you ten feet off the ground. You didn't know because you didn't have anything else to compare it to. You see your ladder goes higher. It also connects to other ladders. You want to keep climbing because it's what you've been doing you're whole life. It is the answer to figuring out the rest of the world, so you continue higher. The ground level details start to get fuzzy until they are unrecognizable. More ladders, higher and higher. The air begin to get a little cloudy, but you've still got a good grip.

After, a few years, you may realize that you were never climbing a ladder to begin with. Instead you're climbing a twisting vine. It felt like sturdy ladder steps at first because the base of the vine was so strong and so many traveled there before that each move was already warn into the side. Now, further from regularly traveled steps, the climb becomes more uncertain. The fog sets in and there are no more grooves to put you're feet on. Some of the paths have been found to twist in circles around themselves. Others are just branchs that are weak or dead end and you need to backtrack. You're slipping along the side.

You keep ahold because you know something is waiting for you at the top. Unlike your early years, you now aren't sure what that is. Sure, you can work really hard accomplishing all of your goals, but hopefully you have also realized that you can't control everything. There is always an element that tells you, you might not be the one that knows best. This is why you climb. Step by step, you climb higher to find out what you need, not what you want. What you need so badly that you probably aren't even ready to know about it yet.

The History of UPO Told Through Photo Booth

 This is our office.

 We work really hard.

But sometimes we like to have fun.

 We grow mustaches for scientific studies.

 The people that make our coffee fill it with extra love and sunshine.

 We plank.

 We ride unicorns.

 We get matching tattoos. 

 We get some delicious food.

 We get some cool CDs.

 These guys wish they could work here.

 Sometimes it gets cold and the arctic animals come visit.

 We are whale enthusiast.

Places I Have Recently Cried

As embarrassing as it may seem, sometimes you find yourself attempting to hold back tears and losing. This is a list of pathetic places I have sprinkled my eye lube, from snif, snif to blubbering.

Beauty and The Beast 3D
I may have lifed up my 3D glasses and turned away to brush a tear from my eye as Belle walked down the staircase in her gorgeous yellow ball gown. I mean, she is falling in love. Right there, infront of your eyes! She is going to dance and sing with the hunka-hunka Beast all night. Who care's if you've seen it a bajillion times. That is some straight up Disney princess magic and it gets me every time.

The Disney Marathon
26 miles completed and 0.2 miles to go and I don't know if I'm crying because I'm running past an entire gospel choir and their tunes are lifting me higher and higher (ooOOoooo). Maybe I was crying from the pain shooting throughout my body screaming "I thought you loved me?" or because I was being passed by the 45th speed walker. Gah! They walked the whole thing faster than I ran! Either way, I couldn't breath and almost died short of the finish.

In Class
My professor called on me to answer a question. Not only could I not answer the question, I wasn't even sure what it was. I wasn't really sure about anything we talked about and then tears. Waah! My head sunk and I pretended to rub my eyes like I had the biggest piece of dust in both of them. (Yea, duel eye dust attacks happen all of the time!) Ugh, god. What was I doing? Who cries in a graduate class? Get it together, because I'm not fooling anyone! Grand Valley's air filtration is phenomenal. Which that only made me cry harder.

In the Snow
I was recently caught in a game of hip bumps walking down the street. This game is a classic and it always seems to be taken a little too far. This time was no exception. After the second or third bump, I felt it. My feet were caught short by a moud of snow and my top half was still moving forward. My knee met the ice and felt a sharp pain. My eyes squeezed out some salty drops, but it wasn't until a group of, we'll say, "brochachos"walked by heckling me. I couldn't hold it in and literally burst into tears. I couldn't even get up for a moment from the sheer embarrassment. Eventually I moved but no one even offered to give it a kiss.

So there you have a complete list of recent flobbering messes I've created. At least I can look back and be entertained by my emotions.

Everything is going to be fine.

Sometimes things happen. It isn't what you wanted or the ideal situation. It's beyond understanding. It feels unfair. It consumes every thought. It may hurt a lot. These things are way beyond control and it is hard to let it go.

Sometimes these things also happen in the most beautiful way you could hope. People surprise you and you can only wish them the best. You know you're young and have a million opportunities. Everything seems to be working for a greater outcome. Thats when you realize everything is going to be fine.

Angle

Holocene

Bon Iver will never be my catalyst for happiness. Though amazing, listening to his music I find myself entrenched in a dark, murky pond, tangled in the weeds, and drown by my clothing. My emotions and thoughts spill out and are absorbed into the water. They mix together swirling in my hair and over my skin. Then I lean back and float.

Sucking a little less.

After my guinea pig post, Word Press notified me that this post would be my 25th. I know a 25th blog post isn't anyway significant to most people, well maybe that I haven't quit, but I did get a little introspective. I reread all my posts and it has been almost a year since I've started this blog and four months since I attempted to suck less.

A lot and a little has changed. I'm still working and keeping pretty busy, but now I'm officially a graduate student at Grand Valley. I'm still designing and crafting, not as much as I'd like but ehh. I'm pretty sure I'm getting better at writing and much better organizing my thoughts. Most of all, I completed a major goal I set years ago. I finished the Disney marathon January 8th in under five and a half hours.

First of all, congratulations to Elyse for completing her first half marathon at Disney! She was amazing!

Elyse and Megan infront of the Magic Kingdom

4:30 a.m. - Elyse, Mike and I before I left them to start the race.

Also, thanks to Mike for bringing 120 decibels of vuvuzela joy to cheer Elyse and I both on. He was the greatest super fan the world has ever seen. The crowd and runners alike loved hearing the horn at 5:30 in the morning, even though it did make one little girl cry.

Physically, it has been one of the hardest things I've done. It is also the most exciting thing. I literally smiled and laughed the first ten miles of the run. Although, by the 26th mile I needed to calm myself down because an entire gospel choir was singing and I was almost in tears, finding it hard to breath.

At the end I was in so much pain and Mike and Elyse had to help me sit down and get back up, but I DID IT!

Thank you to everyone that helped, supported, and ran with me for the past few months. I've got a ton of new running gear that will help me run through the winter while training for a 25K in May, and I'm pretty sure I'll be back to run the Disney Marathon again next year.

Guinea Battle