Election Haiku

Hey Ho UFO

Figuring Out ArtPrize

Now that the top 10 ArtPrize pieces have been announced and after reading a few responses to this years work, I would like to add my two cents. This is the forth year of the worlds largest art prize and it has begun to settel in as an anual event as well as in expectations.

I remember the first year probably a bit differently than most. I was an art student in the midst of my senior year and ArtPrize was about the only thing people could talk about for months. Us know it all art students with years of learning to dislike everything and the ability to negatively evaluate a puppy were, as you can imagine, ArtPrize's biggest critiques. We began with setting our expectation extremely high. We thought this art competition would pick the public out of Thomas Kinkade butt and revitalize art in their eyes. Then we were devastated to find out that the public only cared to vote for the big shinny pieces that were easy along high traffic areas. Months after we talked in depth about the artistically uneducated person, the effects of public vote, and how ArtPrize could fix the problem next year, as to highlight the "true artist" in the competition.

The next year hopes were still high, possibly even higher, because maybe they ironed out the issues of last year. It turned out that the results and reactions were much the same. By the third year of ArtPrize, I was tired of talking about ArtPrize.

This year I pleasantly find myself appreciating ArtPrize 2012 for exactly what it is. The purpose of the art competition is to explore creativity and promote "critical dialogue and collaboration". In an interview Rick DeVos, commenting on GQ's article, explained that this show is one of a kind and it's goals are not that of traditional art events. ArtPrize is about getting people downtown into the little shops, engaging them with the community, and exposing them to art from near and far. As it's own thing, it successfully hits its goals. There are even a lot of people I know that don't even care to vote. They just enjoy hopping around and seeing Grand Rapids, which on any normal day is weirdly deserted, packed with visitors. The second year of the juried awards are also great because it awards art that is considered good by art community standards. The GRAM even made a good attempt to educate the public on viewing a piece in their museum this year. With the use of an infographic they outlined the steps a general viewer could use to think critical about piece when observing it.

I think my only critique this year would be the lack interesting pieces. I do think it is great that ArtPrize is open to anyone, but it has seem to have fallen into a slump of predictable work. A lot of the art is likable and friendly to sales, but you can find most of it in the everyday. Very few pieces are unique or ground breaking. There was a really great article I read this morning making one important suggestion; the need for more curated venues. Many agree Site:Lab has by far the best curated group of work in all of ArtPrize, as well as the most interesting. If more venues seek out artist we might find a greater range of work. Personally I would like to be exposed to much more experimental pieces that I can't regularly see in a gallery or show room.

Anyways, I have finally found a happy place with ArtPrize and I'm glad to have it so close to home. 

Technology Is A Tool, Not A Life Ruiner

So I'm currently taking a graduate course called Emerging Telecommunication Technologies. Oh I know, how impressive. Except it's not. The textbook is from the early 90s and other readings are from the 60s. Not so emerging.

Really the class is about crotchety old men scared of change. They think technology is ruining which ever is the current generation, making us all more and more stupid. Their 100+ long papers are filled with gargantuous word which I don't have the time or carry the attention span to read. My world involves tweets and articles I can read in three minutes. Characters are much to valuable in technology to be using large words and like most people, I need my news short and fast because I have about million other things to check and do.

I'm in the process of writing an opinion paper for said class and I thought I'd outline my initial thoughts about the way technology is affecting the world here. First of all I would like to make my opinion clear, I do not believe technology is ruining the world. Until we are creating Arnold Schwarzenegger killing machines I think we will all just be fine.

The world is always changing and humans are always adapting. This is the first reason I know we are all going to be okay. Older generations always fear something, like rock and roll, civil rights, and girls in pants. We are getting better at realizing that many of these things won't destroy the world. Most of us understand that future us is going to look back and think about how silly the world was not letting gays marry because we were in fear that would collapse the entire structure of marriage and family. Yes it might change the structure but, like accepting that the world was actual round and Earth was not the center of the universe, maybe things will make more sense and we might actually learn something.

The second reason we can all chill is technology is simply a tool. Just like scuba gear allows us to explore the depths of the ocean, technology allows us to access information almost instantly. It does not actually transform humans in any way. A person is not actually stronger or more talented because they can strap on a scuba suit and swim underwater for an hour. However, human are not going to grow gills or develop bodies that can sustain large amounts of pressure so they can freely dive. Maybe in a million year, but should we really have to wait that long to explore the ocean? I don't think so. If we have the tools we should use them and then use our technology to store the information we collect, research better methods, and communicate across the world.

Third, technology has ruined anything yet, at least not drastically. If it had, many more people would be serious about using it less. It has made us lazier and walk into a few more fountains at the mall but life is still going strong.

Lastly, the problem is with society, not technology. We have become lazy and weak-willed. We make the conscious decision to lay around watching YouTube clips and constantly checking our Facebook. We feel anxious when we are not near our phones to check updates. We do not have to accept that reality. Really just leave your phone at home for the day. Read a book on the weekend and keep your computer off. It really isn't that hard and it may actually feel good. Also, relax and keep everything in perspective. Technology is not a big deal, it is a tool.

Everyone always says that if technology disappeared we would all be screwed. That is not true. We would quickly adapt. Humans always adapt. If it is with technology or not, change will happen and we will learn to live with it.

How To Win A Breakup

Delete their phone number.

Delete photos of you and them together.

Put their stuff in a box.

Try and remember their phone number so they can pick up their stuff.

Write, organize, and rewrite every problem with the relationship, hoping that when they come you have a chance to talk to them and can remember everything you wrote down.

Be sad that they don't want anything back.

Have a "Me" day.

Take the box out to the trash.

Tell all of your friends you have thrown away all of their stuff and you are ready to move on.

Write a status about how good it is to take care of yourself for once.

Speak loudly to your/their friends about how happy you are.

Go out and have a crazy night.

Drink.

Feel lonely.

Drunk text them.

Yell at them that they were a waste of your time.

Go out with a random person.

Show this new person off to friends and tell them again how happy you are.

Hope they feel jealous.

Cry about not being ready to move on.

Stay in for the night.

Read a book.

Take a long shower.

Go to sleep.

Wake up in the morning.

Realize none of that was important and move on with your life.

TIFF Movie Reviews

TIFF this weekend was an amazing experience. Toronto is a big, busy city filled with the nicest Canadians. Our hostel fed us pancakes for breakfast and the other guests kept us entertained with their foreign accents. The film festival was also great. Not only were the movies incredible, they were emotionally exhausting. I had a unique opportunity to see each director speak about their movie as well. Overall, I watched four movies in two and a half days. Of the four, I would like to share three of them. You may realize that they all sound quite depressing, but such is a film festival. Still each of these three films were tremendous stories with great meaning. So here it goes...

White Elephant (Elefante Blanco)
The movie surrounds two priests working in the slums of Buenos Aires, where they are plagued with neighborhood violence, drugs and the police, and government and clerical bureaucracy. Through their struggles they stay loyal and continue fighting to improve the lives of the people in their community.

Even though the story was about the constant disappointment, false hopes, and violence faced by the priests, I was in awe of its beauty. The colorful culture and rich history add such a depth to the story. Also the determination and collectiveness of the priest really make you wish the best for their efforts. However, every one of their actions seem to bring on another horrible event. For this reason, I very much love this movie. The idea that a person's good actions are not aways rewarded with good is unlike most stories. It is a reminder that good does not deserve good in return. What is good, is how you choose to act in the face of adversity. In an early scene, one of the priests is confiding in the other, very disturbed over witnessing the murder of an entire village. He cried wishing he was there to die with them. The other priest said him that it is easy to become a martyr and die but it was his job to stay alive. In other words, dying is easy, what is hard is to live a good life while suffer again and again.



Twice Born
This movie was three movies packed into one with about five opportunities to end. In brief, Twice Born is a story of two people that fall in love during the Bosnia war and desperately try to have a baby. Their pursuit ultimately destroys their relationship and the world they knew.

Normally a jam-packed movie with multiple ending points would be extremely frustrating. Somehow through the great writing and directing, the stunning shots are too exquisite to turn away from and every twist keeps you emotionally invested. The story first follows the love of Penelope Cruse and Emile Hirsche's characters, Gemma and Diego, which is the kind of love people dream. A few years after their marriage the Bosina war began. Bosina, Gemma, and Diego reflect one other as they individually loose their innocence. The war destroy's Bosnia along with wiping out the purity of it's citizens. Gemma's idea of true love is gutted by her pursuit of having a child. Diego's past is riddled with fearful experiences that he had been able to cover with a beautiful imagination and eventually drugs. He later experiences the rape of a women so horrible that he can not return to his happy state. In each way they are all broken down and everything that is good is destroyed.


Ginger and Rosa
Ginger and Rosa is a simple plot. Two girls born on the same day, in the same area become best friends in 1960's London. They grow up and experiences life life together. Ginger becomes involved protesting the Cold War while Rose becomes romantically involved with Ginger's father.

It is an emotionally stirring movie with quite a sad ending. Of course it is visually striking with lovely scenes. I'm not quite sure why I loved it as much as I did because it was overall quite upsetting. Even through the selfishness of Ginger's father and best friend, she still tries to win their acceptance. It is hard and relatable to watch someone reach out again and again to be acknowledged, only to be overlooked by blind selfish acts.


So when you are ever in need of a stunning film and also a good cry there are my suggestions. Enjoy with a box of tissues!

TIFF

A few weeks ago I was enjoying some music and brews at Founders. I was mainly there to check out the band A Lull. I had cheekily feel in love with them a year prior during a summer concert series connected with Mars Hill Young Adult. In "hipper than thou" fashion the group chose to meet in unorthodox circumstances and inside theaters. Along with the concerts, they also did a film series and traveled to the Toronto International Film Festival 2011 (TIFF). Even though A Lull's performs during the summer concert was probably one of their worst (due to some technical issues), I went nuts when I found out they were returning. I told everyone just how excited I was by telling them I was going to pee my pants, just incase they couldn't tell from the erratic look on my face.

After listening the opening band I was hanging on the patio trying to contain myself with a friend, John. He was talking with Eric (the director of MHYA) about the upcoming 2012 TIFF adventure. The 20 original spots had filled up and unfortunately John was the first one on the waiting list. He was hopping there would be at least one drop out or the more unlikely event that 10 additional people would signed up so the trip could accomodate a group of 30. Even though John and Eric were both encouraging me to sign up I had already decided, although I would love going, it was just too expensive. I was pretty bummed because I love adventures and movies. As they talked more about TIFF and as the beer set in I felt like I was really missing out. 

I'm not sure if it was the personal invite, the magical qualities of the beer, a high from the concert, or the very late hour, but when I got home I immediately turned on my computer to sent an email asking to join John on the TIFF waiting list. Then I feel asleep with my computer still on my lap. When I woke up in the morning and came to my senses, I panicked at my impulsive action. I even drafted up another email stating I wasn't really serious about the previous 2:00 a.m. message. It was just a little joke, haha... I want to keep my money. But something made me hesitate. Maybe it was knowing that I was only on the waiting list and the chances of having another 8 people sign up was unlikely. I figured I could sit on the idea and think about it through out the day. Ultimately, I decided leave it up to the world. If a spot opened up, I'd take it. 

Now this really isn't a big deal. It really just a silly story about how I signed myself up for TIFF. I did end up getting a spot and so did John. With the trip just days away, I'm very ecstatic it all worked out. We will all be climbing into 12 passager vans and taking a four day adventure together to Toronto. We each get to share and experience 5 films and engage each other in discussion. In our free time we can explore the city and I'm crossing my fingers for a Hockey Hall of Fame visit. I'm pretty geeks to be participating in this unique 30 person, uber cool vacation.  Happy TIFF!

Love Yourself.

I read a lot of Thought Catalog. For those of you that don't, you should and for those of you that do, I'm sure you've figured that out about me by now. It's pretty easy to spot my attempt to emulate the same 20-something humor of that blog. Lately my favorite Thought Catalogs are typically titled "A (number) of _______ 20-somethings should know", in which ideas or advise are presented for us, young adults, to consider. Articles like "5 Mistakes Every 20-Something Should Make", "7 Musts For Any Self-Respecting 20-Something Man", or "5 Things You Need To Do In Order Survive Your 20s". When I read most of the advise, I'm either laughing my ass off or thankful to hear someone express the same feelings I share. 

The major theme I've noticed recently in these articles revolve around learning to love yourself. It's something you hear over and over again. It gets washed out in movies and the idea becomes distracted during one's everyday life. Like most things, you don't quite know what it really means to love yourself until you have honestly accomplished it. And like most Thought Catalog article's I'm just a 20-something trying to make sense of my knowledge on this topic and pass it on to others. 

I never really understood what loving yourself meant maybe until my senior year of college. It took a long time. In middle school I was awkward. Everyone was. I couldn't quite figure myself out, but either could anyone else. High school was maybe the first time I really became self-aware. One day I literally realized how huge my thighs were. I had trunks for legs, or at least it seemed. I became so self-conscious about every little thing. The 10 blackheads on my face were a total embarrassment. Giving a stupid answer to a "popular" person made me want to shrivel and die. I would eat very little, thinking I was fat. I couldn't even begin to understand who I was, let alone love myself. 

Going off to college wasn't too difficult. I was in a relationship that started in high school, which made the transition much easier. However, I found myself feeling very alone after we broke up at the end of my first year. At that point, you could say I hated myself. I wanted to make sure other people felt the same way. Long story short, I found myself scheming ways to ruin other people because I was bored with my own drama. 

I realized, among other things, this was an unhealthy way to live and it produced equally unhealthy friends. I needed to discover confidents and to figure out how to first like myself. The plan was pretty simple. I found it by focusing on my work and less on other people. I just dove in to long hours of homework and design. Honestly it was super awesome. I was really passionate about what I was involved in and I didn't have to worry about any drama. I noticed I wasn't stressed and I even began to grow fingernails. Before I would incisively bite them off with worry. When I didn't have to rub knots out of my back everyday or care to gossip about so-and-so I knew I succeeded. I really liked my life and soon loved myself.

It hasn't all been perfect. I'm still unreasonable at times and I still freak out, but I run from drama as much as I can. I avoid enemies because I've got a lot of other great things to worry about instead. So my advice as a 20-something to other 20-somethings, figure out how to love yourself. If you find yourself causing problems for other people because you are bored, get a hobby. Seriously, find something productive to do that you can feel good about. If you crave attention so much you'd settle for destruction, join a contact sport and work it out there. If you find you are attracted to any of theses types of people, you aren't much better off. Surround yourself with people that are building you up. There are plenty of world problems that can be solved and beauty to uncover. Make the planet happy to have you. In turn, you will then figure out how to love yourself. Truly. 

Fight : A Movie

As the release of The Expendables 2 nears, I was reminded of a movie plot I thought of while watching the trailer for another action movie, The Last Airbender. First, lets start with action movies in general. Most movies of this genre are thin on plot, weighing heavily on explosions and attractive men and women driving fast cars. Some rogue cop tries to foil the plans of some scum ready to blow up the city of New York. There is always a girl that distracts the cop, he drives a mustang, bang, bang, bang, plot twist! The good guys win! Pretty standard stuff. 

Lately, movies like the Batman series, Inception, and Transformers have made incredible efforts to push action movies to another level. But, I wondered, why anyone hadn't made a movie that has done the exact opposite? Here, in lies, the trailer for The Last Airbender. A child waits in a Chinese like temple while thousands of enemies ascending upon him. I thought, wow! This sounds like a two hour movie of just fighting, which would be AMAZING. No playing around with any crappy plot, just karate chop after karate chop. Although, when I actually saw the movie, there was way more plot then I even cared to dream about. Also, terrible acting, so terrible. That must be what happens when M. Night Shyamalan and Nickelodeon decide to make a movie baby. Then I saw the The Expendables movie. It was as close to a plotless movie I had ever seen, with fricking awesome heroes like Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Couture, Austin, Crews, Rourke, and Willis. Still though, a little bit too much set up. The story goes like, something, something, and then they have to take out some military leader and a villain CIA guy in Latin America. I'm crossing my fingers director Simon West read my mind for The Expendable 2 coming out in August. In the meantime I thought I'd explain my perfect action movie. 

I would call it Fight : A Movie.

Time: Present

Location: Remote jungle in South America, maybe a desert, and sometimes an abandon steel factory. 

Who: Good guys vs. bad guys.

What:  The good guys fight the bad guy.

Why: Who the eff cares. I wanna see something blow up. 

It's a fairly simple concept. My movie would be about the good guys, we will call GG, fighting the bad guys, which we will call BG. They GG and BG would both be dressed in black, BG would be denoted by a swastika or any other evil symbol. I'd let the BG actors choose when they got to the set. 

The movie would open up in a jungle with the BG patrolling a series of crates, obviously filled with more weapons that they will use later on. Then, cut to the beach. The GG have been sneaking up on the BG by scubaing to the shore. They slip out of their scuba gear and take their place along the cliffs and move in. Once they are spotted the fighting begins. 

Standard gun fighting, ducks, dives and more shooting. GG moving in closer, and hand to hand combat starts. All the injured are yelling like Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

One hour later the GGs are getting their butt kicked and they fall back to recoup. 

The BG are now on a large barge in the middle of the ocean. A telescope view of the ship and text describing their location appears at the bottom left hand corner 

Bad Guys,

Ocean: 50 miles off shore.

The GG still sneak up on them again by scubaing to the boat. The BG never learn. The GG jump aboard and this time with explosives. They blow some things up. More yelling and hand to hand. Then there are shots of some government looking generals in a secret dark room with glowing red lights barking orders. Even bigger explosions. 3 hours later they are still fighting and the movie ends. There'd be too much plot if anything was really resolved. 

I'm thinking it's a summer blockbuster. 

Go, go Power Rangers

Thanks to Netflix I recently watched the very first Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episode that aired in 1993. Back then you either loved MMPR or you made fun of those people, while you secretly loved it in the dark. Everyone knew their power ranger color and fought kids off with their morphing dinosaur power on the playground. I always thought of myself as the yellow ranger because girls only had two choices and Kimberly, the pink power ranger sucked.

Even now, watching the show makes me a little embarrassed. The good thing is it was not as bad as I remembered, but I did have some serious issues with the plot and acting direction.

#1
The kids hung out at one of the coolest teen hang outs ever. There were coordinated classes of karate and gymnastics, and a juice bar with apparently no adult supervision. That would never happen in the real world. I can only think of a handful of things a bunch of hormonal teens would do while left unattended.

#2
For some reason these five teens are selected by a giant head and robot to fight off intergalactic terrorists. My reasoning is their wardrobes already color coordinate with their ranger color. Once selected, they blast into a blur to their new headquarters, given their ranger belts, and explained their powers and duties in a brief paragraph. With little comment they figure it's "too weird" and decide to leave. Uh, yea guys, it is weird. So why don't you ask any questions?! Like, where the crap are we? Who are you? Why do we morph into dinosaurs? How in the world is it possible to even morph? Why can't I be a different color? Nope. Nothing. They don't ask for any explanation. They just peace out.

#3
Rita Repulsa's voice (the evil chick) doesn't match with the movement of her mouth. It's bad enough that the other bad guys and power rangers can't move their mouths when talking and need to use extremely aggressive hand motions to express their unexpressive face. When Rita speaks, it is like watching a dubbed over Chinese movie. The actress just kinda holds her mouth open while she should be saying a line and it's still open, long after. I'm also pretty sure when her back is turned but you can still hear her voice, the actress is just standing there, not even pretending to mouth anything.

#4
I just love to hate the fight scenes. Anytime any of the rangers fight, they play the same metal clanging noise for every hit. It doesn't matter if it is skin to skin, rock to face, foot to sword. All metal. And again, back to the fact that these kids were just chosen and given morphing powers, they magically know how to fight dramatically better. They just hop in their giant dinosaur machine and can control it with a joy stick. And please, like five people could sit together in a even more giant morphing machine and agree on what to do first.

#5
Last but not least, no one ever dies! A couple punches are thrown and then the bad guys just disappear. I feel that the show really missed an opportunity to teach kids about loss and to kill off Kimberly. God, she was so annoying!

Thankfully the show had one kick ass theme song to redeem its other poor choices. I'm not sure how many more episodes I can manage to watch but MMPR did shamefully to steal another 20 minutes of my life and another 30 minutes while writing this post. Go, go Power Rangers.

Keeper of the gems, I am.

"I have a razor ball of lightning striking your mind" - Leslie

A few days ago I learned a personal hero of mine, Leslie Hall, was playing a show in Grand Rapids. If you don't know Mrs. Hall, you might know the Gem Sweater song and the front lady, squeezed into the gold suit, is Leslie. Her sweater song became the anthem of my early college years. I was a boring freshman, but none the less, I dressed up as her for halloween, walked around campus, and people stared. I ate at the cafeteria with a large bouffant, proud of my handmade, glittering, dew drop gem sweater.

Tight pants, hobby lobby, and power cuddles.
Leslie had created a soundtrack to my life and I was in love with the music.

Her band Leslie and the Ly's performed at the Pyramid Scheme and as I walked there I felt stupid going alone but so enormously excited to see her live. The second I walked in I knew I was in heaven. Gold tassels, quilts, a tiger rug, and nylon stuffed mannequins covered the stage. The first opening band Pennyhawk was a soft folk rock band, probably good to listen to while in the fields of Iowa or something. The second band, Ramona and The Swimsuits, came out wearing, well, swimsuits and singing lyrics like "come on man, let me juggle that baby" and "it's the cabbage days of summer". The story is Leslie mentioned the name of a band on stage one night and then Ramona had to come up with just what that band actually was. The best part was the band Pennyhawk was just Ramona and The Swimsuits minus the swimsuits, and Ramona and The Swimsuits was just Leslie and the Ly's minus the Leslie.

After some technical difficulties, the main act was finally on stage. Leslie flew in via jetpack and the gold pants party began. She was literally everything I imagined and more. There were many body rolls and butt flexing. Think of the greatest concert you have ever been to. The amazing million dollar stage and special effect and Adele/Jay-z/Lady Gaga singing their guts out. This show was just like that minus about $999,950 of the budget and the quality of Britney Spears's voice pre-autotune. The Ly's lifted and rotated Leslie by a lazy susan and cart with a jack.

The drummer wore a cape with a sequin incrusted image of Leslie's face and if you look real close to the picture you can see the merch girl spinning the drum stage so it could rotate. The Ly's also hung from a ladder and the base of a scaffolding structure. Leslie is even a skilled breakdancer. It sure was cool.

All in all, this was really the best show I've ever attended. I was laughing hysterically and wildly dancing even though the actual singing was sub par and I was solo and sober. The completely ridiculous act was so ridiculous it couldn't have been done any better. Leslie continues to be everything I wish I could. Gem sweaters for life.

Happy Aladdin's Day

Today marks the second annual celebration of Aladdin's Day. You might be thinking to yourself, "Aladdin's Day? I thought today was about puking your guts out on overly handsy couples", and it can be if you let it. You can sit and grumble about any one of the many reasons why this holiday exists and why it is the worst holiday ever. You can attend the "lonely hearts" get togethers around town, meet a cute person, and then realize exactly why they are still single as you shamefully hand them your phone number. Or you can do something entirely different.

Many adults forget that things can be made up and if you get a group of people to go along with you, they become real. This time last year, a group of friends, very bitter about past/current relationships, were angrily/sadly talking about their Valentine's Day plans. Most people in their situation typically do this. I have plenty of times and you're probably having similar thoughts right now (unless you are nauseatingly in love). At that same time, I was in a new relationship and happy, but it was way too early to be exchanging "I love you, Smoopty-woopty" cards. So we decided to change things and created Aladdin's Day.

It's not that I hate this Valentine holiday. I just hate that it's not all inclusive. I did have a large portion of friends confused about the new celebration. Too many heart shaped boxes of chocolates and their brains were unable to reason with any other idea, but Aladdin's Day celebrates the triumphs of our hero Aladdin. As well as his charm and good looks, magic carpet rides, and the Genie, of course. The benefit that makes this holiday is anyone can participate because everyone loves that darn street rat. There can't ever be too many people celebrating and no one has to be an odd one out. We celebrated by getting together to drink some good old Founders beer and passing out non-Valentines.

So today's date doesn't have to be about spreading singles awareness or any kind of Valentine dilemma. It can be about anything you want with your favorite people in the world. Just have fun celebrating.

What I Wanted To Be Growing Up

When I was little I always wanted to grow up and become an artist. On the side I sometimes wanted to be a professional soccer player for Brazil's national team. I didn't really know that I had to live in Brazil. I thought that if I just tried really hard the president would just call my house one day and offer me a spot on the field. Luckily, I was a much better artist, but everyone always said that I'd never make any money off my art until I was dead no matter how great I was. I'd be a starving artist living in a box with my paintings. My first thought while listening was "rude", my second was "challenge excepted"! I would become a great artist and show them all.

The first time I can remember any creative thought was when my dad used to drop me off at daycare. Before he left, I would have him draw me a picture and it would only be a small array of objects, like a race car or my house. As he drew I was amazed at his skill to draw, in my eyes, photorealistic images with a Crayola. It was unbelievable and as he left I would attempt to copy his drawings.

In first grade I entered my first art show. It was a class show and my watercolored elephant, decorated with sequences stood out against a glued on macaroni landscape and cut out of who knows what, but that kid probably shouldn't have been holding a pair of scissors.

My mom once told me during a parent teacher conference, my teacher was thrilled to tell them about a diorama I made with moving parts. She had never seen that in a kid my age. I vaguely remember the shoebox habitat, but I do remember pouring hours and hours into every opportunity to be creative.

I was the first one to perfect bubble letters a school and everyone just had to have me write their name in their school year book. I was taking every art class I could, including private lessons. My goal to become a snooty, turtleneck wearing artist was shaping up.

Until one day I stepped into my high school ceramics class. It was a total blow off class. Everyone new it. Plus I was a senior and already excepted into my college of choice. I went into the class thinking this would be an awesome opportunity to make some "cute" things to go in my college dorm room the following year. Our first project was to make a mug. While everyone else was struggling to construct a simple coil mug, I had drawn up some sketches of an underwater themed cup. It had fish, a sunken treasure, and a lady mermaid as the handle.

I took my sketch pad up to my teacher expecting stars to shoot out her eyes. I knew it wasn't a Grayson Perry by any means, but I also knew my competition was using spit to moisten their clay during class. She took a quick look and said "Your going to art school right?". I said "Yep" thinking she would praise me for my creativity and composition. Instead she scrunched her eyebrows together and said, "They are going to look at this and laugh at you. This is terrible."

Umm, what?! I thought, she can't say that to me, can she? I'm like good at art. It's totally my thing. It defines me as a person. I DRAW PERFECT BUBBLE LETTERS! I went back over to my chair and fumed for the remainder of the class. How could she insult me, the "art girl", infront of everyone? I was so embarrassed, my ego had been crushed, and I couldn't understand what was wrong with my mermaid paradise.

Eventually, in college, I figured out what she expected from me. She was raising the bar way higher then anyone had previously and it kicked me in my privileged, arrogant butt.

I won a few awards throughout high school and college. I got a degree in graphic design and I've been working at the same place for the last four year. I'm still not a famous artist. I don't even know if thats what I want anymore. I do know what I did do was much harder then I thought it would be. Thankfully I had a professor, on the first day of class, that made us write out a bubble chart. The goal was to write every talent, skill, and interest then link any related jobs. The more abstract the better. He topped it off with a little fact; only 1 of 3 students in class would even become professional designers after college. So if the famous designer doesn't work out, I thankfully know I have interest in being a tree planter/hugger, talk show host, or an amusement park employee.

Punxsutawney Phil

It's Groundhog Day 2012 and Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. 6 more weeks of winter!

He never seems to be right, but it is fun to believe in a little rodent that predicts the future. However, Michigan has been having a great winter run. We may have been dumped on by snow the past weekend but the other day it is was up to 55 degrees and I was rolling with the car windows down. I'm going to predict Michigan will play this winter dance with us a few more times. A lot of snow here, a lot of melting there, and repeat. 

Climb

It's interesting how much you can think you understand about life. If I've learned anything, it's that most things that happen are out of your control. During grade school you start climbing the ladder. Learning step after step and getting higher and higher. You figure out how your school works, friends work, and the ins and outs of your town. You realize you're pretty high and you've got a nice view of what is below. You own this ladder.

Then you graduate high school and realize your ladder has only taken you ten feet off the ground. You didn't know because you didn't have anything else to compare it to. You see your ladder goes higher. It also connects to other ladders. You want to keep climbing because it's what you've been doing you're whole life. It is the answer to figuring out the rest of the world, so you continue higher. The ground level details start to get fuzzy until they are unrecognizable. More ladders, higher and higher. The air begin to get a little cloudy, but you've still got a good grip.

After, a few years, you may realize that you were never climbing a ladder to begin with. Instead you're climbing a twisting vine. It felt like sturdy ladder steps at first because the base of the vine was so strong and so many traveled there before that each move was already warn into the side. Now, further from regularly traveled steps, the climb becomes more uncertain. The fog sets in and there are no more grooves to put you're feet on. Some of the paths have been found to twist in circles around themselves. Others are just branchs that are weak or dead end and you need to backtrack. You're slipping along the side.

You keep ahold because you know something is waiting for you at the top. Unlike your early years, you now aren't sure what that is. Sure, you can work really hard accomplishing all of your goals, but hopefully you have also realized that you can't control everything. There is always an element that tells you, you might not be the one that knows best. This is why you climb. Step by step, you climb higher to find out what you need, not what you want. What you need so badly that you probably aren't even ready to know about it yet.

The History of UPO Told Through Photo Booth

 This is our office.

 We work really hard.

But sometimes we like to have fun.

 We grow mustaches for scientific studies.

 The people that make our coffee fill it with extra love and sunshine.

 We plank.

 We ride unicorns.

 We get matching tattoos. 

 We get some delicious food.

 We get some cool CDs.

 These guys wish they could work here.

 Sometimes it gets cold and the arctic animals come visit.

 We are whale enthusiast.

Places I Have Recently Cried

As embarrassing as it may seem, sometimes you find yourself attempting to hold back tears and losing. This is a list of pathetic places I have sprinkled my eye lube, from snif, snif to blubbering.

Beauty and The Beast 3D
I may have lifed up my 3D glasses and turned away to brush a tear from my eye as Belle walked down the staircase in her gorgeous yellow ball gown. I mean, she is falling in love. Right there, infront of your eyes! She is going to dance and sing with the hunka-hunka Beast all night. Who care's if you've seen it a bajillion times. That is some straight up Disney princess magic and it gets me every time.

The Disney Marathon
26 miles completed and 0.2 miles to go and I don't know if I'm crying because I'm running past an entire gospel choir and their tunes are lifting me higher and higher (ooOOoooo). Maybe I was crying from the pain shooting throughout my body screaming "I thought you loved me?" or because I was being passed by the 45th speed walker. Gah! They walked the whole thing faster than I ran! Either way, I couldn't breath and almost died short of the finish.

In Class
My professor called on me to answer a question. Not only could I not answer the question, I wasn't even sure what it was. I wasn't really sure about anything we talked about and then tears. Waah! My head sunk and I pretended to rub my eyes like I had the biggest piece of dust in both of them. (Yea, duel eye dust attacks happen all of the time!) Ugh, god. What was I doing? Who cries in a graduate class? Get it together, because I'm not fooling anyone! Grand Valley's air filtration is phenomenal. Which that only made me cry harder.

In the Snow
I was recently caught in a game of hip bumps walking down the street. This game is a classic and it always seems to be taken a little too far. This time was no exception. After the second or third bump, I felt it. My feet were caught short by a moud of snow and my top half was still moving forward. My knee met the ice and felt a sharp pain. My eyes squeezed out some salty drops, but it wasn't until a group of, we'll say, "brochachos"walked by heckling me. I couldn't hold it in and literally burst into tears. I couldn't even get up for a moment from the sheer embarrassment. Eventually I moved but no one even offered to give it a kiss.

So there you have a complete list of recent flobbering messes I've created. At least I can look back and be entertained by my emotions.

Everything is going to be fine.

Sometimes things happen. It isn't what you wanted or the ideal situation. It's beyond understanding. It feels unfair. It consumes every thought. It may hurt a lot. These things are way beyond control and it is hard to let it go.

Sometimes these things also happen in the most beautiful way you could hope. People surprise you and you can only wish them the best. You know you're young and have a million opportunities. Everything seems to be working for a greater outcome. Thats when you realize everything is going to be fine.

Angle

Holocene

Bon Iver will never be my catalyst for happiness. Though amazing, listening to his music I find myself entrenched in a dark, murky pond, tangled in the weeds, and drown by my clothing. My emotions and thoughts spill out and are absorbed into the water. They mix together swirling in my hair and over my skin. Then I lean back and float.

Sucking a little less.

After my guinea pig post, Word Press notified me that this post would be my 25th. I know a 25th blog post isn't anyway significant to most people, well maybe that I haven't quit, but I did get a little introspective. I reread all my posts and it has been almost a year since I've started this blog and four months since I attempted to suck less.

A lot and a little has changed. I'm still working and keeping pretty busy, but now I'm officially a graduate student at Grand Valley. I'm still designing and crafting, not as much as I'd like but ehh. I'm pretty sure I'm getting better at writing and much better organizing my thoughts. Most of all, I completed a major goal I set years ago. I finished the Disney marathon January 8th in under five and a half hours.

First of all, congratulations to Elyse for completing her first half marathon at Disney! She was amazing!

Elyse and Megan infront of the Magic Kingdom

4:30 a.m. - Elyse, Mike and I before I left them to start the race.

Also, thanks to Mike for bringing 120 decibels of vuvuzela joy to cheer Elyse and I both on. He was the greatest super fan the world has ever seen. The crowd and runners alike loved hearing the horn at 5:30 in the morning, even though it did make one little girl cry.

Physically, it has been one of the hardest things I've done. It is also the most exciting thing. I literally smiled and laughed the first ten miles of the run. Although, by the 26th mile I needed to calm myself down because an entire gospel choir was singing and I was almost in tears, finding it hard to breath.

At the end I was in so much pain and Mike and Elyse had to help me sit down and get back up, but I DID IT!

Thank you to everyone that helped, supported, and ran with me for the past few months. I've got a ton of new running gear that will help me run through the winter while training for a 25K in May, and I'm pretty sure I'll be back to run the Disney Marathon again next year.

Guinea Battle