Friday, September 21, 2012

How To Win A Breakup

Delete their phone number.

Delete photos of you and them together.

Put their stuff in a box.

Try and remember their phone number so they can pick up their stuff.

Write, organize, and rewrite every problem with the relationship, hoping that when they come you have a chance to talk to them and can remember everything you wrote down.

Be sad that they don't want anything back.

Have a "Me" day.

Take the box out to the trash.

Tell all of your friends you have thrown away all of their stuff and you are ready to move on.

Write a status about how good it is to take care of yourself for once.

Speak loudly to your/their friends about how happy you are.

Go out and have a crazy night.

Drink.

Feel lonely.

Drunk text them.

Yell at them that they were a waste of your time.

Go out with a random person.

Show this new person off to friends and tell them again how happy you are.

Hope they feel jealous.

Cry about not being ready to move on.

Stay in for the night.

Read a book.

Take a long shower.

Go to sleep.

Wake up in the morning.

Realize none of that was important and move on with your life.

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