Love Yourself.

I read a lot of Thought Catalog. For those of you that don't, you should and for those of you that do, I'm sure you've figured that out about me by now. It's pretty easy to spot my attempt to emulate the same 20-something humor of that blog. Lately my favorite Thought Catalogs are typically titled "A (number) of _______ 20-somethings should know", in which ideas or advise are presented for us, young adults, to consider. Articles like "5 Mistakes Every 20-Something Should Make", "7 Musts For Any Self-Respecting 20-Something Man", or "5 Things You Need To Do In Order Survive Your 20s". When I read most of the advise, I'm either laughing my ass off or thankful to hear someone express the same feelings I share. 

The major theme I've noticed recently in these articles revolve around learning to love yourself. It's something you hear over and over again. It gets washed out in movies and the idea becomes distracted during one's everyday life. Like most things, you don't quite know what it really means to love yourself until you have honestly accomplished it. And like most Thought Catalog article's I'm just a 20-something trying to make sense of my knowledge on this topic and pass it on to others. 

I never really understood what loving yourself meant maybe until my senior year of college. It took a long time. In middle school I was awkward. Everyone was. I couldn't quite figure myself out, but either could anyone else. High school was maybe the first time I really became self-aware. One day I literally realized how huge my thighs were. I had trunks for legs, or at least it seemed. I became so self-conscious about every little thing. The 10 blackheads on my face were a total embarrassment. Giving a stupid answer to a "popular" person made me want to shrivel and die. I would eat very little, thinking I was fat. I couldn't even begin to understand who I was, let alone love myself. 

Going off to college wasn't too difficult. I was in a relationship that started in high school, which made the transition much easier. However, I found myself feeling very alone after we broke up at the end of my first year. At that point, you could say I hated myself. I wanted to make sure other people felt the same way. Long story short, I found myself scheming ways to ruin other people because I was bored with my own drama. 

I realized, among other things, this was an unhealthy way to live and it produced equally unhealthy friends. I needed to discover confidents and to figure out how to first like myself. The plan was pretty simple. I found it by focusing on my work and less on other people. I just dove in to long hours of homework and design. Honestly it was super awesome. I was really passionate about what I was involved in and I didn't have to worry about any drama. I noticed I wasn't stressed and I even began to grow fingernails. Before I would incisively bite them off with worry. When I didn't have to rub knots out of my back everyday or care to gossip about so-and-so I knew I succeeded. I really liked my life and soon loved myself.

It hasn't all been perfect. I'm still unreasonable at times and I still freak out, but I run from drama as much as I can. I avoid enemies because I've got a lot of other great things to worry about instead. So my advice as a 20-something to other 20-somethings, figure out how to love yourself. If you find yourself causing problems for other people because you are bored, get a hobby. Seriously, find something productive to do that you can feel good about. If you crave attention so much you'd settle for destruction, join a contact sport and work it out there. If you find you are attracted to any of theses types of people, you aren't much better off. Surround yourself with people that are building you up. There are plenty of world problems that can be solved and beauty to uncover. Make the planet happy to have you. In turn, you will then figure out how to love yourself. Truly.