Riding on a bus.

Public transit is great. It gets people here to there relatively fast, it's inexpensive, and it helps us ride that "green earth" wave. It's even greater in Michigan because it is few and far between and every bus ride is like a fairytale dream that has fallen into the sewer drain. I ride the bus to work because it gives me an extra half hour to wake up, or fall asleep and be embarrassingly nudged awake by some handsome bearded fellow. While I enjoy Grand Rapids' lovely bus system, I have witnessed a few things worth mentioning.

I have repeatedly slid off my seat because the sweater-vested driver only knew two speeds, stop and go. Thankfully knees make a great brace embedded into the seat in front.

I have stood hovered over a couple grabbing there seat back on a packed bus because the shorter you are, the fewer handles you have to grab onto when the driver needs to jump up and down on the break pedal. And yes, they were open-mouth making out and rubbing the back of each others heads as I was pinned against them.

I was actually on a bus when a girl hit it driving through an apartment complex parking lot. I was surprised because I was on a bus, a huge bus. These things are hard to miss with your eyes closed.

Lastly, the crowd of rowdy hockey fans and drunk bro-chachos is always a bus favorite. I applaud them for getting a safe ride home, but they have to remember no one else on the bus is at their level and no one thinks it's funny.

I'm sure I could write up some witty bus riding guidelines, but I've got another line of defense; the ipod. I put my cute pink headphones in, turn on some nerd podcast, and blend into the other awkward people with their headphones in and texting on their phone. This is the group of people that other people write articles about. Articles about how us weirdos are hiding behind social media, losing any people skills we still have, thus causing the decline of civilization all together.

This could all be combated by making the bus into a dance club. The loud music would drown out the yelling bros and make their fist pumping more appropriate. Us shy ones will have no need for our ipods and the stop and go driving style, it will force us all to shake our hips. The make-out couple wouldn't be out of place and the disco ball will add an additional safety feature for other drivers, like police lights.

It's the future.